SCORPIO FULL MOON ECLIPSE HOROSCOPES
hello friends, the scorpio moon is growing full.
...AND IT IS AN ECLIPSE !! eclipses are portals of change, portals of pivoting. This one is in difficult aspect to SATURN and on the screaming fixed star ALGOL. Full of hard decisions, forced change. We must let go of a certain control tactic, we must grieve an old craving and be transmuted. A false version of ourself is being killed off as we realize what really matters in the end. Scorpio is already a sign of boom and bust and so these realizations may be dramatic and emotional. MERCURY is retrograde til JUNE 3rd, JUPITER just entered ARIES - drop resentments, drop revenge fantasies...take this month to put your past to rest and pioneer a new wish forward...
Giving someone a cookie can lead to a glass of milk which leads to a napkin...giving other people parts of yourself can bind you in a circular sequence of codependency. How might we dedicate ourselves to others without getting caught in a cookie jar ? True alchemy happens when heat is applied...and heat separates. Let chocolate melt, let impurities corrode. The source of this heat is your true self, chugging hot milk, belching “fuck it !” We need you to be an asshole about your true desires, to rub the sparks of your special ideas in the face of resistance, so that a third thing can emerge and germinate. Trust that interpersonal growth has a distinct melting point. Turn the knob up on the heat of your individual hunger, trust that your demands have grace.
The sequence of morning events does not have to be coffee, emails, news scrolling in your chair, hair flying everywhere as you realize it's already lunch and you’re 301 desktop tabs deep. Our culture gets productivity all wrong. Last minute-ism, I can do everything myself-ism. But actually, career shit is random, it comes and goes. What’s more important is whether you are gritting your teeth or giggling. The most important thing is that you do your visionary thing for us, for as long as possible. We need you to make this sustainable. Building labor sustainability is a political act and means asking yourself: how can this be easier? When you are well fed, we can find you...we clearly see the solid banner you hang, even when it's flapping in the wind.
Often, our weird obsessions and complexes aren’t from what our parents did, but what they didn’t do. Whether it’s an absence of care or a family secret that moved around like a thick wind. Every origin story is a bit of a photographic negative, white teeth looking black. Our psyche plays with the light and dark space, it so badly wants to be whole...spending lifetimes waiting to be developed. Yet, memory is malleable - a thin sheet of plastic, forever changed every time it is printed. No need to keep grasping at a vacancy when the darkroom is set-up waiting for you in the basement. You are the chemical reaction, you are the agitator, you are the enlarger. As Richard Bandler says…“It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.” Play with the gaps in your story, rinse away excess and finally see the film for what it needs to be, no longer light sensitive.
It’s easy to equate money with hours worked. We clock in and clock out - yet the reality of it is that we make money 24 hours a day, we make money while we’re bathing, we make money reading, masterbating, we make money while we’re spending money. People say “money is energy” like it’s a waveform that’s traveling back and forth, okay sure, but what if money is literally your energy ? ie: the energy you have to do shit for people, to think clearly, to connect. And so to make money you need to stop making money. To make money you need to take care of your heart. To make money you need to watch a cooking show on your couch. Wealth and abundance come in various forms ---- giving your full battery is the most valuable currency.
Your body is your subconscious mind. It taps a foot while making a phone call, hands go in pockets at a party. In some ways, our psyche speaks through shapes - fear moves up and out, anxiety moves up and stays in, we tableau. All these subtleties are a secret emotional attitude, an automated coping creation. We think healing means going back to the source, re-tracing the original event that twisted the wires like you could detonate a bomb by arguing for an old story. But what if healing is right here in this moment, in your present behavior. Move into the shape of the person you want to be now. Believe in yourself now and it will trickle down into your childhood self and your childhood self will grow up inside of you.
Whatever plan you have is as good as any. Whatever you are making in the world is alright. But a plan won’t get you anywhere and unless you know why you’re doing it. People make decisions with the part of their brain that hungers for food and feelings, a gut instinct doesn’t care how cool you look on paper. People come to you because they've got a feeling about you, because they believe what you believe - they resonate with your why. Throw all your certifications into the cauldron. You are powerful just wandering down the block, pressing the crosswalk, cars stop - you are a why moving through space, people wonder where you're going...and follow. You were given a name like a round candy in your mouth. No need to bite down and ruin your teeth - taste the simple wholeness of why you're here.
Despite the illusion of separation, there are some places you go where other people just can’t come with. The quiet of opening your eyes in the morning, the part of that song that makes you cry, the real thought behind the thought behind the actual thought you shared out loud. Inside yourself is a table reserved for one, a place to play with your food and process. Sometimes you forget to make reservations there, how can a hole in the wall be worthwhile? But, the actual purpose of self-development isn’t to become successful, powerful or even happy. The purpose is always to get to know yourself, like you would get to know anyone you’re falling in love with. Intimacy is built over time by proving to a person that you can show up, listen...unconditionally. Go on and take yourself on a date, go on and pull yourself into a passionate kiss.
For centuries, alchemists saw piss and shit as holy. These substances that come from inside our bodies, hold a certain unique signature of ourselves - our own special gut bacteria, processing of life, unique banalities - what we dispel matters. In some circles, creativity is measured by how vulgar you could get with your body. We call people cut off from their creativity “anal retentive.” It’s not just shit for shits sake. We are surrounded by sex, we breath it in, walking through the pollinating crosshairs of trees and plants. We swim in semen, shit fertilizes, urine could probably power a cell phone. Likewise, how could the dregs of your most hot nasty humanness be a source of creative glee ? Let yourself crack open places of rigidity, places that you don’t wanna be messy and transmute it into liquid gold.
Sometimes someone else's mind and way of saying and seeing a thing resonates so much it feels it could be ours. We are tempted to stop there and let it explain the world for us - we try it on, citing its source until it dribbles away into some proselytizing soup of plagiarism. But you friend, you are not a creature of regurgitation. Everything you experience is waiting for your corkscrew, your turn of phrase, your personal twist. No need to write the next Ulysses, let go of any expectation of profundity or epic intellectualism, the world just wants you and your mind...no matter how neurodivergent or brute or cliche. Go all-in on this kooky brain of yours. You are a multi-intelligent garden of images, connections, memories, body sensations that only you can prune, pollinate and tilt towards sunlight.
We build a nest around a cute mask and give it a cute name. Yet, once in a while someone calls us something new and we can’t help but turn our head. Some names explode the nest, twigs and dirt fling everywhere. The self is not frozen in time, all old neckties become a binding spell...life is a constant cycle of re-parenting. One day long ago, you decided to put one hand behind your back because it was convenient and cool — but imagine what you could be doing with two hands, imagine how much more life you could hold. It’s time to demolish an old style of autonomy, because in order to grow you sorta have to die a little. In order to grow, you sorta have to change your name, sorta have to stop walking around with one hand behind your back.
Aztecs used to think the Sun wouldn’t rise without a sacrificial heart being ripped out every morning. Likewise, every college campus has some dude naked and bloody on a hazing ritual floor. Social ceremonies are powerful. We are all poor milkmen dancing down an earth path singing some shit about “tradition.” Sometimes we do stuff because that’s how it’s always been done. Yet, at some point, one Aztec realized they valued their heart - wondered what would happen if they slept in that day. When you break from the herd, the sun still rises. To change the world, one must do something so radical that rejection is imminent. We need you to tolerate the lag of approval, we need you to them be wrong about you. Don’t compromise your genius to fit in, go all in on an opinion about yourself.
Imagine, tiny baby chickens in your hand. Imagine, you must decide which ones will become hens, which ones roosters. Imagine, the sex of a newborn chick is not inherently obvious. In fact, in baby chicks - the genders look identical. People go to school for this: chicken sexers. It takes a subtle eye to sort chickens. In fact, the only way to learn is to have a master chicken sexer stand behind you saying “yes” or “no” while you attempt to randomly sort them. Eventually your unconscious mind learns and you get more yes’s than no’s and you graduate. How might you sort your life out through unconscious learning ? We don’t have to clench and squeeze at the facts, sometimes knowing is more subtle than that, a delicate tiny bird.