WILL TO LIVE: MARS IN ARIES
Ah ha, another post eating the dust of delays, due mostly to an electric storm in my head. Yes, these words are written in lightning. Yes, I'm busy breaking up with my boyfriend, cleaning out our apartment, weeping and clawing at curtains (as if nostalgia could get the security deposit back). And yes, my psyche is destroyed by craigslist -- binge watching posts, desperately seeking new housing.
As I write this, I have 5 days to get out of my apartment, and have no idea where I'll go... if not the spiky front yard grass of a city council member’s West Hollywood mansion.
Certainly, my existential scream adds to the chorus.
All of us jumping cliffs, some of us everyday of our lives — many not by choice, but for mere survival. Sure I can’t prove my weirdo income to any landlord, but I do still drink good coffee, I do have friends with couches or the cave of my parents basement (in some unspeakable suburb). As I watch evictions and homelessness circle my city like helicopters, my privilege prevails.
Even so, I must validate my panic, let myself grab at my heart and scream “fuck!" Thankfully, most tunnels of despair end at an important discovery - a sacred place in us that the material world is unable to touch -- that which is unbreakable, that which is our will to live.
Mars, the planet of war, entered the sign of willpower, Aries on June 27th, and because of its upcoming retrograde in September, it will remain there until January 7, 2021.
Like leaving a fire iron in flames - we glow red, spark fires, stir. This extended stay is both productive and volatile. Teetering between “courageous conquest” and “ramming reckless through walls”...until we will reach one wall that rams us back: Saturn in Capricorn. Saturn, the planet of structure & limitation, returned to Capricorn July 1st, now awaiting various stressful square aspects from a wily Mars in Aries.
We take this time to prepare our tools, to sweat over the heat of our metal will.
"strength to your sword arm"
Assertive and resilient - ready to be brave, ready to fight for life within these ongoing, harsh conditions.
As for where I'm living in five days? Probably in the invulnerable, unalterable center of myself. While the Capricorn-fueled material world shifts around us, this core of our being does something less definable — it laughs at our human limitations and fears. It has its own order, something beyond time, something like the soul or the 1BED/1BATH we are all somehow sharing.
HOROSCOPES
*special craigslist ad version*